Your intro flows smooth into your main idea. however I think you would need an connecting sentence to connect your intro into your first paragraph. Another thing I want to mention is that I can't find your opinion or your passion toward ths toouc. This many confuse some readers into thinking "what is the point of this speech?" However, i really liked how you were able to mention fact I cannot argue against. This not only makes you sound intelligent, but also helps convince readers. Your speech is very good overall :)
Your speech is narrative, but it also included some of your personal comments on the topic. This really strengthens the audience's understanding of the your opinion on the speech, it engages the audience. Some parts of the speech you could improve are the intro and conclusion. For the intro, perhaps pose a question to the audience about time travel. The end ing is kind of abrupt. You can try to add a few more sentences to make the audience "think" even more. Overall, your speech has lots of interesting facts and it included a thorough description of time travel.
Thanks for the advice, I'll try to revise my speech more. By the way, my speech is more of a expository than narrative (I think?). And my goal isn't to persuade people that time travel is real or anything, but just to inform people of this so called time traveler "John Titor" and his amazing predictions @_@.
Your intro flows smooth into your main idea. however I think you would need an connecting sentence to connect your intro into your first paragraph. Another thing I want to mention is that I can't find your opinion or your passion toward ths toouc. This many confuse some readers into thinking "what is the point of this speech?" However, i really liked how you were able to mention fact I cannot argue against. This not only makes you sound intelligent, but also helps convince readers.
ReplyDeleteYour speech is very good overall :)
Your speech is narrative, but it also included some of your personal comments on the topic. This really strengthens the audience's understanding of the your opinion on the speech, it engages the audience. Some parts of the speech you could improve are the intro and conclusion. For the intro, perhaps pose a question to the audience about time travel. The end ing is kind of abrupt. You can try to add a few more sentences to make the audience "think" even more. Overall, your speech has lots of interesting facts and it included a thorough description of time travel.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice, I'll try to revise my speech more. By the way, my speech is more of a expository than narrative (I think?). And my goal isn't to persuade people that time travel is real or anything, but just to inform people of this so called time traveler "John Titor" and his amazing predictions @_@.
ReplyDelete