Writing prompt: It is sometimes necessary to take decisive, preemptive action against someone because of what you fear he or she might do later.
What if your best friend was doing something behind your
back? You worry and fear what they might do to you. You then decide to confront
him/her to find out. This is you, taking a decisive, preemptive measure or
action. Sometimes this is necessary to prevent bad things from happening, but
other times, what you fear might be just a surprise birthday party for you.
“It is
sometimes necessary to take decisive, preemptive action against someone because
of what you fear he or she might do later.” First, let’s define preemptive. Preemptive,
by the online dictionary at Dictionary.com means: taken as a measure against something possible, anticipated, or feared;
preventive; deterrent. Now look at it this way, doesn't that sound like negative? In
the above quote, that is the case. The word fear is used. When you fear
something, you think negatively. But what does that negative feeling include?
you’re
anticipating something
Jealousy,
hatred, greed are just some of the words that can be thought of as negative. Sometimes,
when you fear something that someone might do, it’s usually competitive. If you
and your friend were playing a card game and you know you might lose, you would
either drop out of the game, or you would cheat to win. This is because you are
afraid of losing. If someone else
won, you’d be jealous of their victory, although it is short lived. The choices
of dropping out, or cheating to win are your decisive actions against what may,
or may not happen which is if your friend wins. Greed will play a role in this
if you decided to have a prize for the winner. Now, let’s say that you were
given an offer from your parents. If you get directly into UBC (University of
British Columbia), your parents would buy you a brand new car. What if your
younger sibling over heard this? If he or she thought that this offer was for
you only, they would be jealous, and try to do everything they can so you won’t
get that car. This is out of jealousy and hatred. He or she hates the fact that
you are getting more than he or she will, and think that it’s not fair.
What if
someone was plotting your death at this moment? Would you take decisive
measures to make sure that you are safe and alive? I hope so. But you don’t
know what “their” real motive is. Preemptive doesn't always mean something bad
might happen. It’s just that something might
happen. But sometimes you know that something bad may happen and if this is
the case, it is necessary to take action to stop it from happening. If someone
had twenty bottles of beer, and were extremely drunk, you know that if they get
into a car and drive, there most likely will be an accident. This is when you
can stop it from happening. To decide to keep them where they are and away from
the car is probably the best thing to do until they regain the coordination to
drive again. Another example is, protecting someone important, like the mayor,
with body guards is their own decisive and preemptive measure against anything
happening to them.
Is it
sometimes necessary to take decisive preemptive actions against someone because
of what you fear they might do later? Yes, I think that it is sometimes necessary.
Stopping bad things from happening before they happen is a good thing. On the
flip side, stopping good things from happening before they happen is a bad
thing. The person who stops it is you. You decide on what to do and whether you
want to stop it or let it go on. These actions are your measures against the
possible or the impossible.
Your essay both opens and closes smoothly, and the content stays on topic. I like how you gave many examples of situations that really COULD happen in our typical lives. Some of them sound like they are coming from your personal experience too. In paragraph 4, you wrote
ReplyDelete"Preemptive doesn't always mean something bad might happen. It’s just that something might happen."
I think you used 'preemptive' out of context here(its REALLY bugging me atm). You said it yourself that preemptive (adjective) means,
"taken as a measure AGAINST something anticipated".
It just doesn't make sense to me, but I can't seem to describe why =.=''... I think you are too focused on the single word 'preemptive' in your whole essay, but you do manage to get the main point of the topic across to us readers (somehow).
PS. When I looked at the topic, I kind of just ignored the word preemptive, and it still makes sense (since its just one of the two adjectives).
"It is sometimes necessary to take decisive action against someone because of what you fear he or she might do later. "
Moreless, it was over-focused on one part of the whole topic?
DeleteIt is an interest way to open. The first thought about the opening is: how does it related to the topic? However, the connection between the hook and the topic is successful in the end of the intro. The way of use definition to start the body paragraph is another interesting thing. I think it's a good way to let the readers know more about the topic. However, this multiparagraph is not really a formal essay. There are too many "you"s and "I"s appeared. In addition, it sounds more like a speech. Finally, the ending indicates your opinion about the topic clearly. i would say i'm holding the same opinion as you. Oh the pictures relates the topic well too.
ReplyDeleteHow do you think I should change it? Changing the whole essay will be difficult to do... especially since the wording is mainly used as a speech format... I typically write the way I give a speech. That is a problem I found. It's really informal, as you have noticed. Any opinions on how I should fix it up?
DeleteIs it actually specified that these essays have to be 'formal'?
Delete